Choice Blog

The Care Dilemma

I have just come back from a trip up to Scotland to see my Dad who has not been keeping particularly well recently after several small strokes known as TIAs. He and my Stepmother moved into a flat about 10 years ago and I remember the younger members of the family wondering about the sense of moving at their age into a second floor flat. They had great health, always being out and about walking the dogs they had at the time, and didn’t see the stairs as an issue. We thought differently of course and as the years have passed and my father’s health has deteriorated, it now is the case that he feels somewhat trapped in his own home

I have lived in Somerset since 1991 and do not get up to visit anywhere near as much as I would like for many reasons like working full time, doing a Masters degree and with 2 children and numerous animals. So, since I hadn’t seen him for a few months it did come somewhat as a shock as to how little mobility he had. One of my brothers lives quite local to my Dad and him and my sister-in-law are amazing at ensuring he gets out for afternoon tea occasionally and taken to appointments when required. They both run their own business but work long hours and have a young family to look after so do what they can. My stepmother has taken on the huge demands that looking after my father entails, but after attempting to lift him one night had injured her already problematic back. The GP had been great at arranging for some support, however after a few weeks were informed that the carers service felt two people were now required. They explained that this wasn’t possible due to staffing shortages, so they would have to stop the service completely. My Dad has very limited mobility and my Stepmother had been diagnosed with broken bones caused by Osteoporosis, and they were still not able to get daily help to get him up in the morning - We couldn’t quite believe it. We have exhausted all possibilities for care to keep them in their own home including private services but to no avail. So, a few weeks on they are ‘managing’ but it is not a great situation. They want to stay in their own home and although we have discussed the thought about moving to somewhere at least on the ground floor, this wouldn’t solve all the issues. The family and extended family all visit as often as they can, but the morning unfortunately is left to my stepmother to deal with. I wish we could do more but as I sit here running through all the possibilities I cannot see a perfect solution.

Surely keeping people in their own home would be the ideal situation but in the long term I can’t see how they can continue as they are. Our story is a common one with a ‘care crisis’ been regularly mentioned in the press. The demand for care services increases year on year and cuts to local authority budgets must have had a huge impact. For me all I can do is ensure I go up to visit as often as I can in the short term and consider if I can move back to Scotland perhaps…

What do you think to care services? Do you agree? 

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