Choice Blog

We’re Riding A Wave of Silver Singles. So What Now?

It’s no longer the young who are quizzed about their relationship status at every family event. It’s now the young quizzing their parents — or even grandparents, with more over-50s single and ready to mingle than ever. But why is this?

The divorce rate peaked in the 1970s, after the Divorce Reform Act in 1969 made divorce easier than ever. Couples no longer had to “prove fault” to divorce, which meant that couples who may previously have stayed married became trigger happy with their trips to the divorce lawyers. After seeing many of their parents go through acrimonious divorces, many baby boomers opted out of marriage and decided to devote themselves to their career instead.

It’s not just those who have never married who are single, either. The divorce rate for the under-40s has dropped over the past 25 years, but for over-50s, it’s more than doubled. Divorce solicitors in London and other major UK cities where the cost of living is high see a constant stream of divorces where entire lives are uprooted. Once divorced, neither partner can afford to live in the same postcode as a single person.

So what can be done if you’re a silver single, or about to become one? How do you restart your life alone, handlendating and maybe brave a second marriage, or living with a new partner? It’s a scary stage in life, but with careful navigation, there’s no reason you can’t make a success of it.

Divorcing? Make Sure it’s Amicable, or Pay the Cost

When you divorce, you don’t just split your cost of living down the middle. This blog post works it out using the percentage rule: your cost of living is the square root of the number of people in the household. So if you live alone, your cost of living is the square root of one, which is… one. Before you rush into a divorce, consider the extra costs and work out where you can afford to live. An amicable divorce, as well as a reputable divorce solicitor in London, will save either of you being kicked to the curb and being downgraded from a mansion in Kensington to a bedsit in Ealing.

If you’ve been married for 20 years or more, chances are you bought a house together around the time you said your marriage vows — something few newlyweds have the luxury of being able to afford now. Since 1996, house prices have seen a 518% jump, from an average of £79,000 to £488,908. Unless you chose a particularly sound investment, dividing your estate into two probably isn’t going to yield the same purchasing power in 2017.

Times have changed and life in London is increasingly expensive for singles. Pew research centre says: “Gray divorcees tend to be less financially secure than married and widowed adults, particularly among women, and living alone at older ages can be detrimental to one’s financial comfort and, for men, their satisfaction with their social lives.” If you’re considering divorce and the process hasn’t started, make sure you’ve tried rekindling your romance in every way possible before you’ve called time — and your family lawyers in London.

Thinking of Dating Again? Make Sure Your Fledglings Have Left the Nest

The sky high rental and property prices are pricing out most of our children, resulting in boomerang children who leave to go to University and then return after graduation when they can’t afford to find a place of their own. One in four 20-34 year olds still live with their parents, which may evoke nostalgia and avoid empty nest syndrome for biological parents. But if you’ve since remarried and live with a new partner, or if you’re dating, it’s not that simple.

The rise in cuckoo children can cause problems for someone trying to establish a fresh relationship and life with a new partner. There are theories that it might be playing into the new phenomenon termed by the ONS: ‘silver splitters’. Especially if it’s your new partner’s home you’re now living in, the appearance of your children — and their baggage — might be an intrusion that ebs into your relationship and results in a split.

So How Do You Establish Your Own Life as a Silver Single?

The subject of debunking common misconceptions about being a woman (or man) in your 60s or 70s is a topical one, as the popularity of Netflix’s hit series, Grace and Frankie, shows. Improved healthcare has resulted in the silver-haired generation being the fastest growing population — and they’re establishing their place in this world. If you’re newly divorced, what now?

Once the important legal stages have been taken care of with your London divorce lawyer, you’ve found a living situation that suits you and you’ve unpacked your belongings, the next stage is working out who you are. The longer you’re married, the more invested you become in the other person and your life together. This means it can be difficult to detach and remember a life without them.

Remembering your hobbies, starting new ones, taking up sports or evening classes, travelling and finding ways to meet new people and branch out of your social circle; these are all ways to create a new life for yourself. Remember that the hardest step is always the first one. Soon, it will get easier.

The next step is dating. If you decide to try to find another fish in the sea, make sure your back is covered legally. A cohabitation agreement drawn up with family lawyers in London is an important stage to moving in together, if you decide to forego another attempt at marriage and are seeking insurance against any eventuality. They can also be important in any disputes over your legal will and testament down the line. While thoughts like this may seem unromantic, there’s nothing like being mentally and legally prepared for whatever the future may hold, so you can have peace of mind and enjoy your life together.

No one expects to find them spending their twilight years alone, but with the growing number of opportunities the world has to offer, it’s as good a time as any. With the help of a good family lawyer in London, you can make sure you start this chapter in the best way possible. Open the door, get out into the world and start embracing your new status as a silver single, and everything that the future might bring you.

Clayton Miller is a member partner of KMJ solicitors — a recommended Legal 500 family law firm in Fitzrovia, Mayfair. He’s dedicated over 15 years to solving national and international divorce disputes, creating fair and well-written prenuptial and cohabitation agreements, dealing with high-net-worth cases and all family matters.